Author's Notes: PGY again, a nice dose of West of the Moon insanity.
Disclaimer: The characters of Lord of the Rings, the books, the movie(s), the characters, the world, none of them are mine though how I wish they were. The rights rightfully belong to the Tolkien Foundation, all puns aside. So it has been said, so it shall be.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Silliness and slashiness and other such things, oh my.
He scrambled through the front door of Bag End, slamming the door behind him even as he slid hard to his knees. Getting up, Sam gasped and pressed all of weight to the door, his heartbeat thundering in his ears. That's it, it's all right... they're gone, they're gone. Why! Rose and Frodo would never believe --
It was the sound of fists pounding on the closed door that knocked the breath from his chest, and Sam gasped as he fumbled for the latch. Why, he'd never heard of such persistent creatures in all of his life. Monsters, really. Now why were they after him?
The sound of skipping foots caused him to look back over his shoulder, and Sam found Daisy and Sammie standing there with confused looks on their faces. "Dad," Sammie piped up, "we need to use the door."
"Yes, yes, er," Sam mumbled in reply. "Mind going out the back? I, er, I'm inspecting this one." Sam knocked on it, even as it was greeted by a chorus of returning knocks. With his ears pressed so close, he could hear shrill cries of 'He's in there! Break the door down! Take no survivors!' Suddenly Sam didn't think it was such a smart idea to send his children out. "On second thought, go see if you can help your mum and Elly in the kitchen. That's it, shoo shoo, be good little children."
"I think Dad," Sam heard Daisy say as they slunk off towards the kitchen, "is losing his mind."
"You're probably right," was Sam-lad's too clear reply.
But Sam wasn't going mad! They really were after him (though he had to admit, that did sound a bit too loony, especially for his likes), and he wasn't sure what they'd do if they actually got in. His hand was still on the latch, and drawing in a breath he moved his hand away. Yes, the door shook, but it held. He breathed a bit easier. Maybe if he ignored them, they'd go away... Cautiously, Sam began to creep backwards from the door.
A hand came down on his shoulder, and he yelped before spinning around. He almost fell over, but Frodo-lad caught him. "Er, Dad, are you all right? Thought I heard a commotion."
"I'm fine, I'm fine," Sam laughed, clapping the boy on the shoulder. "Come on, let's go see what's going on inside."
"Actually, I needed to go meet with..."
"Er, you don't mean you need to go outside? No, no, it's getting far too late for that. Let's see if Rose is making anything special for dinner."
"Dad... are you feeling all right?"
"I'm fine." Sam replied, pushing his son forwards, shooting nervous glances back towards the now still door. Perhaps they had gone away. That thought a comfort, by the time Sam was finished pushing Frodo-lad into the kitchen, his worries had for the most part gone away.
"Hello, Sam, you look chipper," Rose laughed, and Sam swung her into his arms and kissed her on the lips.
"I feel on top of the world."
"Well, if you're so full of energy, help Frodo and Elly with the potatoes, won't you?" she grinned smugly at Sam, and he nodded, sinking down at the kitchen table between his eldest child and Frodo. The boy he'd been named after shook his head and left without another word.
"So, hand me that potato and..."
They never had heard Sam shriek like a girl before, but here he was, worse than when Rose-lass had that bad splinter that one time. He fell back out of his chair with a heavy thud, and Frodo and Rose pinned their attention on him. "Sam!" Frodo went to his side. "What's wrong, what --"
A sudden strange squealing, high pitched, rose in the air, and Sam's eyes widened and he pointed forwards, pushing against Frodo as he did. "They're at the window!" Sam shrieked again, clinging to Frodo's arm. Frodo petted Sam's head gently.
"There there, Sam, it's going to be all right."
Rose, wide-eyed, looked to her husband and Frodo, then to the round kitchen window. Scowling, she saw the bespeckled face looking in. The sudden high pitched squealing, could now be explained, as well as the flashes of shirts and pins and buttons, quoting such things as 'Frodo lives! And it's with Sam and Rose!', 'I Love Pretty Good Year!', and 'I'm a modern day girl who fell into Middle-Earth and all I got was this shirt'. With a swish of her skirts, Rose moved to the window and pulled the drapes closed.
"Really," she sighed, shaking her head and waving the wooden spoon she'd been holding around and around, "fangirls."
Daisy and Sammie, opposite the table from Elanor, blinked and Sammie said, "Fangirls?"
Elanor rolled her eyes and shook her head. "You'll understand when you're older."
~