Lindsey smiled softly at the innocent scene on the back seat of the car. Pillowed by her knapsack, Dawn's hair fell around a face relaxed in sleep, features smoothed by dreams that girls her age were supposed to have, toys and television and puppy-love crushes.

Not demons and darkness and premonitions.

They had just pulled into the parkinglot of a motel. It was late at night, about two in the morning, but Lindsey and Faith were night people so it didn't really matter. Dawn was obviously in need of rest though.

"I think perhaps an early night is in order." Lindsey turned away from the back to address Faith. She was fiddling with her hair and looking off into space. That made him smile again. "How about I take Dawn into our rooms and you go check out that club we passed?" she looked so happy and alive when she was fired up from slaying.

"'kay." Faith grinned, pecking him on the cheek and climbing out of the car.

~~~

The night made the river look black as ink, the obsidian surface swallowing everything without prejudice or preference. Plastic litter sank just the same as dead things. The river would engulf anything, and the city on the river learnt its behaviour from the water. It was a city that would embrace everything without judging anything. Faith felt like she'd stumbled into a Poppy Z Brite book, the only novels she'd ever managed to finish reading. Pretty boys in torn, soft clothing and curvy girls spilling out of tight, glossy dresses. She could deal with living in a place like this. She could be the lone, lawless hero, riding into the town and taking justice into her own hands. The club she was currently standing outside could be her saloon.

Nobody ever asked her for ID, which irritated her mildly since she actually had some to show for once. Not her real name or age, but it was legal and she'd never had a chance to test it.

But the music was loud, the dancefloor packed. Faith moved like an angel dipped in sin, the whole room was in love with her within twenty minutes. She flirted enough to get a few free drinks into her system, the energy coursing through her enough to draw her back onto the dancefloor time and time again. The music, her adrenalin, the alcohol, it all combined to make one heady drug. Faith hoped Dawn was a heavy sleeper, because she was going to do a different sort of dancing with Lindsey soon as she got back to the motel.

~~~

Lindsey hated waking Dawn, but there was no way he could carry her to bed with only one hand. She didn't go back to sleep, rather the questions came thick and fast. Where were they from? Did they really have nowhere in particular as a destination? How come he was a vampire but not a bad guy? Dawn could certainly talk when she wanted to, even though she'd been so quiet in the car. Lindsey thought she might be a little in awe of Faith.

"Who owns that?" Dawn asked as Lindsey searched through Faith's case for her cigarettes. He hated her smoking and threw them out whenever he got the chance. He looked at the item of clothing he'd been shifting aside. A light-colored cardigan, crumpled up and stuffed in the corner of the suitcase.

"Faith."

"Really? It doesn't look like what she wears." Dawn commented. Lindsey half-smiled.

"She had to pretend to be someone a bit different to who she really is. Not as different as she'd like to claim, though." Faith was quieter then she had been and took things more slowly. She was more honest then she once was. Yes, the 'real' her was rather like the girl she'd played in court. But she still swore and drank and smoked and enjoyed sex as often as possible. She was violent, unpredictable, beautiful. Lindsey thought she might well be a goddess.

"When'd you fall in love with her?"

Lindsey thought for a moment. "She was sitting in a police station and she turned to face just where I was standing. Her eyes were so full of so many things."

"Aw, that's so romantic. Almost enough to make me throw up."

Lindsey threw the sweater at Dawn with a laugh.

~~~

Drunk on life and a whole lot of vodka, Faith wasn't sure if she really heard the laugh or imagined it. Low, quiet, unearthly. Spinning on her heel, the sole of her boot making a slight squeaking sound, she looked around. Just a blur of faces, eyeliner and teased hair and the smell of misspent youth. Maybe it was just her imagination, the part of her that was always looking for ways in which her newfound happiness could crumble.

~~~

The neon lights outside made the dark room change color, red like sticky candy, blue like icy snow cones. Willow stood in front of the single window, her pale, naked form drenched in the reflected tints. They never bothered to wear clothes, in the room.

Angelus adored them all. Xander was his favourite, but they were all beautiful, delicious. The thin lines of a silhouette before the window, a gleam of red hair and white skin and glittering teeth, and the shadowed tangle on one of the filthy piles of cushions that dotted the floor. Wild animals won't pollute the place they live in, but these three creatures Angelus loved so weren't animals. Animals kill out of instinct, not cruelty. Not for pleasure.

Oz stirred, shifting out from under Xander to greet Angelus. Willow turned at the movement, her face widening into a mockery of a smile.

"You went and saw it again."

Angelus nodded, shedding his own clothes and joining her by the window. The blanket they kept pinned over it was in several pieces on the floor. Willow followed his gaze.

"Oh, sorry. I got impatient."

Angelus simply laughed. Willow smiled. "Was your movie good tonight?"

"Movies are always better with munchies. For that total cinema experience."

"You know, I can probably set you up with a DVD of it. Save you money on tickets and all." Oz offered. "And I can get Velvet Goldmine too. It's got the same actor in it. Good movie."

"I don't think it's the actor our Angel goes to see every night." Willow's smile was sleepy and seductive. "I think he misses the one who could be just like that, if only he'd admit it."

"Our very own American Psycho." Angelus admitted. "He could have been twice as bloodthirsty, and twice as attractive. I wonder where he and that slut consolation prize of a Slayer are now."

"You're really going to like my news. Guess who I saw at the club tonight." Oz said, wrapping his arms around Willow's waist and dancing with her in the neon lights and shadows.

When the young vampire told his sire, Angelus laughed and laughed. It was a disturbing sound – low, quiet, unearthly.

~~~

Faith felt physically ill, her skin suddenly too tight for her body. The chill in the dawn air didn't help her, the alcohol and sudden shock leaving her rooted to the spot.

"So, it's true." Xander's smile had no warmth and little humor. "I suppose you've guessed I'm not the welcome wagon. I'm very interested in your stay in town though. See you around." he walked off before she could even speak.

Stunned, unhappy, Faith walked back to the motel with her head cast down. Xander. With very little in the way of healthy skintone, and the all-black-leather look Faith herself liked. Xander, whom she'd tried to kill, once upon a time. Looked like somebody else had done a more successful job of it.

Lindsey was asleep already, sitting on the couch with his head tilted back, snoring faintly. He'd obviously dozed off waiting for her.

Being as quiet as she could, Faith took the phone into the bathroom. Dialing Giles' number, she tried not to burst into tears. She didn't cry. Not for anybody.

"Hello?" Crap. Crap crap and extra crap on the side. Wesley.

"Um, hi."

"Faith." Ok, so she pretty much deserved that tone of voice.

"There's not much point in me saying sorry for everything, so I'm not gonna. How's B holding up?"

"As well as can be expected." Wesley's words were short.

"How long since it happened?" God, this was so hard. Faith wished she could just hang up the phone and crawl into bed. Damn this newfound humanity. Damn it to hell.

"Only a day or so."

"Is everyone else ok?"

"To varying degrees. Willow took it hardest, of course."

Faith and the redhead had never gotten along so great. But she felt really bad for the young witch, losing somebody who'd been in her life to the extent Xander had. Faith had never let anybody in that close. That's why Lindsey was such a weird not-the-normal thing. Dawn was cute too. Another reason Faith was taking the vamp-Xander thing so hard. People important to other people shouldn't die.

"Give them my love, 'kay?" This was too hard. She couldn't do this. How did anyone survive caring about anything if it could hurt this much?

"I'll pass on your condolences."

"And Wesley?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

~~~

Darla hadn't stayed with them long. Four's company, five's a crowd. That's what she'd said, anyway. They knew she was pining. Angelus had given her a list of Spike's likely haunts, sad to see her go but glad to part ways with Darla without death or hatred for a change.

So it was only four moving shadows that slipped into sleep early in the daylight, a sprawl of cool flesh interlocked in a room that never saw the sun. Angelus didn't dream in the usual way. He weighed up possible plans, fantasized about future victims, relived the past. Among the vivid images, he decided on a course of action, a smile ghosting across his face as he slumbered.

~~~

Faith dreamed of Buffy's bedroom. Buffy sat cross-legged in the center of the bed.

"You changed it. She's your little sister now." The blonde said, looking at the space to Faith's left. Turning, Faith saw Dawn standing there. The girl looked afraid. When Faith turned back to Buffy, she was standing, two identical Angels behind her.

"Watch out, one of them's evil." Faith said, her voice quieter then she wanted it to be.

"You told me I had miles and miles to go." Buffy sounded accusing. "But you put a dead end in my way and now there's dead angels everywhere. The ground's covered in red feathers."

Faith looked down. There were photographs, torn into tiny pieces all over the floor. Her and Lindsey, Buffy and Angel. Willow and Giles? Faces, all ripped and incomplete.

"You've got a visitor. Sorry he can't stay." one of the Angels said, nodding his head to something behind her. Faith turned, hardly having time to gasp before Lindsey lunged and bit into her neck. Dimly, she could hear Dawn scream somewhere.

~~~

She awoke to the sound of Dawn screaming. Climbing out of bed hurriedly, Faith went into the girl's room. She was sitting up in bed, a beam of sunlight through the window catching the almost fever-bright fear in her eyes. Lindsey was just behind Faith, but stopped in the doorway, the light preventing any further movement.

"Dawn? What's up?" Faith asked, sitting down on the end of the bed. The kid wasn't a kid, really. Fourteen wasn't that young. Faith could remember being fourteen. It had really sucked.

"I had a nightmare. Sorry I woke you guys up."

"That's cool, I was having a sorta gross dream myself." Faith assured her.

"Anybody feel like staying awake for a while and watching bad daytime TV with me?" Lindsey asked. Faith and Dawn both nodded. Lindsey smiled. If somebody had told him a few months ago where his life was heading, he'd probably have thrown them out of his office.

~~~

When Faith next awoke it was night, and someone was knocking loudly on the door. Lindsey and Dawn were still asleep.

Angel was outside, looking slightly soaking from the torrential rain. No, wait, what reason would Angel have for being here? Faith imagined that the ex-vampire was probably comforting Buffy right now. Anyway, Angel wouldn't have any way of knowing where they were.

Faith had her stake clenched firmly in hand as she opened the door, keeping well away from the dark, wet figure outside.

"This a social call?" she asked. He looked wounded. Angelus was a good actor, then. Didn't fool her.

"Can I come in? I have awful news."

Faith laughed sarcastically.

"Gee, I didn't peg you as somebody so polite. Asking to be invited in, how very not-obvious of you."

"Actually." Angel smiled, and now Faith had no doubts at all that she was dealing with Angelus. "I rented a room just down the hall. So I guess there's nothing stopping me doing this." He pushed her back, sending her sprawling, and stepped into the room. Faith jumped to her feet and brought the stake down at Angelus' heart. He punched at her from the left, but she dodged to the side. Straight into the high kick. Trying to recover from the blow, Faith chastised herself. Peripheral vision. She had to check her peripheral vision more often. Angelus tried to use the same combo again but Faith blocked it easily, checking the corners of her sight for unexpected developments.

The sight that greeted her was pretty damn unexpected. Willow, her face in demon mode, holding Dawn tightly and laughing. Faith kicked at her head, then spun and used the same kick on Angelus. He headbutted at her own skull. There was one spot, just on Faith's hairline, the site of her concussion. That was the only place on her body that even Slayer healing couldn't fix. The pressure against it was enough to stun her. Angelus laughed as she stumbled, dazed. As he hit her again Faith's whole world exploded into sharp black stars.

~~~

She was chained to a chair, the heavy iron cutting into her skin. Faith was good at waking up fast, but she felt so groggy that it was a struggle on this occasion.

"You really have a thing about seeing me in chains, don't you?" Faith snapped at Angelus. He was crowding her vision, she tried to look behind him. She needed to see that Dawn and Lindsey were ok. They had to be.

Angelus obligingly moved out of her way. Dawn and Lindsey were both chained to chairs as well, unconscious and flanked by vampires whose faces made Faith feel ill again. Willow, Xander, Oz. All dead... wait, hadn't Wesley said Willow was alive?

"You're from that other world." Faith said to the three demons who wore the faces of the young trio.

"Wrong. Two out of three's not bad, but you're still wrong." Oz smiled laconically. "I'm just one of those many, many people that a screwup like you failed to protect."

Faith's fingertips were fluttering behind her back, hoping for a weak spot in the chain but finding none.

"Let's play a game, Faith." Angelus said, his voice soft and silky. "Let's see... you tried to kill me, then you tried to turn me evil, then you tried to kill me again. Darla and Spike tried to kill Lindsey, I tried to turn him evil... can you guess what comes next?"

"It's poetic justice, Faith." Xander spoke up. Angelus nodded.

"Recognise this stuff?" he brought out a hypodermic filled with an oily, off-white liquid. The Latin translates roughly into Killer of the Dead. I figure if a little bit on an arrow is enough to almost kill me, a whole needle should be interesting."

Faith struggled as hard as she could, deciding that breaking the chair would be far easier then tackling the chains. Willow ran her hand through Dawn's hair.

"No no no Slayer, stop that now. Or I use her eyeballs as lollipops."

Faith stopped struggling. Angelus slapped Lindsey's cheek.

"Wakey wakey soul boy. Kind of ironic when you think about it, a lawyer with a soul. Can't stand the things myself."

Lindsey grunted, his eyes sliding open. Angelus kissed him on the forehead and plunged the syringe into his arm. Lindsey cried out in agony and Angelus clamped a hand over his mouth, which was promptly bitten down on.

"Not my blood you need, Lindsey." Angelus said, pulling his hand away with a laugh. "We're going." He addressed the other three. "Bring the girl."

As soon as they were gone Faith broke the sturdy wooden chair apart and disentangled herself from the pile of chains and splinters.

"Lind? Lindsey?" Faith made short work of unchaining him and moving him onto the bed.

"Faith. " Lindsey's eyes rolled back in his head and he coughed, blood speckling his lips. "Latin names... I know Latin, I had to say the Latin to get the raising finished... did you know that the Latin for sacred is the same as for accursed?" he asked her, the words spilling out in a delirious stream. "Sacer. Like a vampire with a soul, or a Slayer." His voice trailed off into mumbling.

Faith didn't have time to consider the consequences of her actions. Ripping her shirtsleeve off, Faith held her wrist to his lips.

"Drink already." she ordered him. Closing her eyes so she wouldn't have to see his face change, Faith hoped that he wouldn't kill her. But it didn't matter if he did, because she couldn't imagine not saving him.

~~~

At first the nurses though it was another overdose, so common among the younger people who came into the ER. The man who brought her in certainly looked like he was on something, sweat-soaked and frantic.

"She's lost a lot of blood." he told the nurses. The tear on her wrist was still bleeding.

"What's her name?" they asked him as they gave her a transfusion.

"Faith."

"Just Faith? Like Madonna?" the nurse asked. "We need a surname too."

"McDonald." Faith croaked, opening her eyes.

"Well hello there sleeping beauty." the nurse smiled. Faith tried to get up but was held down. "You're not going anywhere. Suicidal patients have to stay until they have a psychiatric evaluation."

"I'm not suicidal." Faith argued. The nurse, Fern, raised her eyebrows, looking down at the ragged gash across the veins of Faith's arm.

"Really, I'm not."

"You're staying here. We'll restrain you if you won't cooperate."

"Lindsey." Faith pleaded. Lindsey couldn't meet her eyes, his expression concerned.

"You're weak. Perhaps it's best if you stay here."

"I can't! Let me up!" Two orderlies held her down as she struggled. "Lind!"

"I'll be back soon." He promised.

The hours dripped by like slow honey until Lindsey came back. He felt like Faith looked -drained.

"Did you find her?" Faith's voice was quieter then she wanted it to be. Lindsey nodded. Faith shut her eyes, not wanting to cry.

"There were quite a few of them. The police said she was the oldest, the others were a fifth grade class on a field trip." Lindsey couldn't close his eyes without seeing the yellow police tape, the bags for tiny bodies. And the red writing on the wall. 'Still hate it when they kill kids, Lindsey?'

He sat down on the edge of her bed. She held his hand tightly as she could, as if she'd die without that small touch.

"There's an oracle an hour's drive out of town, underneath a ruined lighthouse on the coast. I'm going to see what I can do now."

Faith had never heard this tone of voice from Lindsey. Exhausted. Defeated.

"Let me see them." Faith said. "You've done enough for tonight."

"But you're still so weak."

She silenced him with a look.

~~~

"Have you brought me a gift?" the oracle asked. Faith didn't even pause, although mentally she made a note to chide Lindsey for not warning her.

"Here." Faith threw the Swiss Army knife she kept in her back pocket. The shimmering silver-gold woman with hair of green cobwebs smiled at the small token.

"Appropriate from you. So many uses, but known mostly for the bringing of pain and darkness."

"Yeah, well, the store was fresh out of toasters." Faith crossed her arms, feeling tired and cold. "I guess you know why I'm here."

"You can't win against him. He's set it all in motion, and the only way it can end is with an endless darkness."

"You gotta be kidding." Faith shook her head. "There isn't a single thing I can do?"

"From the moment the one with the soul saw you, it was in motion. You couldn't stop it, not even to save the world."

"You mean Angel, or Lindsey?"

"The one who waits just outside for you."

"So you're telling me that when I got in the limo and he asked me to kill Angel, we set stuff up for the end of the world?"

"No. He got a glimpse of your soul when you were both in a room of law. This path was set in place at that second."

"And I can't do squat to stop it?"

"The price is high."

"Hey, I'm a Slayer. I figured I'd have to die to save stuff eventually. Go ahead."

"Higher then that."

"Higher then death? Well, what then?"

"I'll turn back time to that moment. And the world will take another route."

"Won't it all just happen again?"

"You alone will remember." Faith opened her mouth to speak. The oracle cut her off. "Before you answer, know that it is a terrible weight on a soul, to carry memories such as these. Higher beings then you have gone mad under the strain. Angel only gave up a single day and it almost killed him. You're relinquishing months, and the only love you've ever known."

The mention of Angel gave Faith perspective on her choice. He and Buffy deserved a happy ending. And what about her? To remember Lindsey, remember him joking with her before her trial, remember the horrible moment when she thought she'd lost him, and driving with him and talking with him and falling in love with him? Her heart wanted to be selfish. She needed Lindsey. She needed to know Buffy and Angel were together and could grow old and be Elizabeth and Liam together, their real names that Faith had found so funny. Hadn't they earned some happiness, all of them? But Faith couldn't convince herself. Because it would be wrong. Oz and Dawn and those kids had paid too highly for that happiness. Plus that whole imminent end of the world thing.

"How long do I have?" Faith asked, praying she could hold her tears in and be brave. The little firecracker.

"Until two."

Faith looked down at her watch. One fifty-four.

"No, that's not enough time." Faith shook her head. "Please."

The oracle smiled sadly and Faith fell sprawling onto the ground where the doorway had been. Lindsey helped her stand.

"What did they say?" he asked. Faith smiled, an expression that threatened to collapse into tears.

"I'll tell you in a minute. Just hold me, 'kay?" Faith tried to memorise the feel of his skin, the smell of his hair. She'd seen people give up everything that meant anything to them – torture victims, greedy manipulators. Lindsey was the only one who'd ever given her power over them willingly and with trust.

"I love you." she whispered, and the tears won out as she began to cry. She'd only sobbed like this twice before, when Angel wouldn't kill her and when she thought Lindsey was going to die.

"Shh. It's going to be ok." Lindsey promised, and with a final kiss the world slid sideways.

~~~

The disorientation wasn't enough to make Faith forget what she had to do. When she heard a movement on the other side of the room she resisted the urge to look up, forcing her eyes down at her palms. The skin of her wrist was free from the stitches she'd gotten at the hospital, of course. Faith hadn't realised how much healthier she'd gotten until she saw the thinness of her fingers. Just another thing she'd never allow herself to regret.

She heard Buffy and Angel arguing somewhere nearby, and didn't allow herself to remember how they might have been. Something on her wrist caught her eye – scars that looked old, but hadn't been there moments ago. Deep enough so that they would never heal all the way, even with Slayer regeneration. Angular lines that made up a word. Sacer. Five little letters, two of which were vowels. Accursed and sacred, all at once.

When the cell door was closed and she was alone with only herself for company, Faith closed her eyes, leaned back against the door, sighed a tired sigh. Exhaustion settled over her like a heavy, comfortable blanket.

And the edges of a bittersweet smile lingered on her lips.