"If I should die this very moment, I wouldn't fear, for I have never known completeness like being here, wrapped in the warmth of you, loving every breath of you... still my heart this moment, or it might burst..." - Gorecki, Lamb

~~~

Lindsey didn't dream that often. It was a coping mechanism he'd developed, back when his primary concerns in life were how to get his clients back on the streets and which vapid actress he'd invite back to his apartment that weekend. He hadn't dreamed at all since 'making a lifestyle change', as Faith had termed it in a fit of playfulness. He could do without vampire dreams, really.

He awoke to the sound of Dawn screaming. She sounded younger then her real age, a child in peril. The dream he'd been pulled out of whispered through his head, flash images and a terrible sense of loss. Faith stirred next to him, both of them going to check on their little companion.

Lindsey couldn't go to Dawn's bedside the way Faith could. Compared to losing a hand, being allergic to sunlight didn't really impede his lifestyle to any great degree. It could be annoying at times, though. He'd have to find out about any medical breakthroughs in the field of sunblock. He rolled his eyes at his own insanity.

"Dawn? What's up?" Faith asked, sitting down on the end of the bed, reaching out to stroke Dawn's sweat-soaked hair.

"I had a nightmare. Sorry I woke you guys up."

"That's cool, I was having a sorta gross dream myself." Faith assured her.

The feeling of déjà vu was overpowering. Lindsey blinked once, twice, three times, trying to clear his head and recall why this moment seemed so vivid.

"We're going. Right now." Lindsey said, a frown on his lips.

"Lind? You ok?" Faith furrowed her brow. "I thought we could maybe stay here for a little while. I sorta like it. And I saw Xan- I saw a vampire tonight. I don't think we should ride off just yet."

"Do you trust me?"

Now she looked really confused. "Yes, of course I do."

"Then trust me when I say we're leaving right now."

"Um." Dawn spoke up. "Newsflash. It's a little sunny outside for you to play, isn't it?"

"I'll lie in the trunk."

"Geez, you are serious about going." Faith shrugged. "Ok. Dawn, get your stuff together."

~~~

"They're miles and miles away now." Willow was looking out the window again, her skin reddened by the sunlight still glinting in the dusk. "Running away."

"Are we going to follow?" Xander threw aside the remains of the bird he'd been playing with. Oz had stolen it from the house they'd ransacked, after Angelus and Willow had finished with the owners. It was some sort of exotic lorikeet, bright red feathers drifting down onto the dusty wooden floor. Perhaps they'd go live in the house, for a while anyway. This place was getting filthy.

"What are they running from?" Oz asked. Vampire Willow was nothing like the girl he'd loved, but he was different from the man he'd been, so that was all right. She had a predator coiled inside her, like Veruca had. Like a steel spring, about to snap.

"The end of the world." Angelus cut in. Xander looked a little annoyed.

"Do you always have to cut in to every conversation unannounced? Would it kill you to participate like everyone else, instead of butting in and being cryptic? And anyway, why exactly do you want to end the world, considering how badly you get your ass kicked every time you try it? If I were you I'd consider changing my long term goals. Or short term goals, since ending the world doesn't really require long term ones."

"But you're not me." Angelus growled, grabbing Xander by the hair. The fledgling simply smiled, wiping a little of the bird's blood off his chin and smearing his fingers on Angelus' cheek.

"I think we should vote on it." Willow suggested. "All those in favor of ending the world. Again."

Angelus raised his hand, then scowled when nobody else did.

"Well what do you all want to do then?" his annoyance slipped away into boredom.

"I want a pony." Willow said, clapping her hands.

"A real pony or a people-pony?" Oz smiled.

"A people pony with pretty gold hair. I'll name her Buffy."

"Remember what Darla said, Will. No Sunnydale." Xander reminded her.

"But Darla's not here." Angelus stood again, a smile replacing the annoyed boredom.

~~~

"That's an, um, interesting, er, look for you." Lindsey managed to say finally. Faith laughed. While he'd been sleeping in the trunk the two of them had given each other ridiculous makeovers. Faith's eyeshadow was on so thick that when she blinked a small blue cloud wafted off her face.

"I gotta take a break." Faith said, stretching. They'd stopped as soon as the sun set to let Lindsey out and she had no intention of starting again yet. Being the only one capable of driving was not a fun position to be on for long trips. "I need to get some energy out."

Parked on the side of an empty stretch of road, Faith put a tape in the car stereo, turning it up loud enough that it sounded distorted. Leaving the doors open so that light spilled out, Faith danced with her eyes closed, head thrown back. Dawn sat down sideways on the front seat, watching her. Lindsey smiled, running his hand through his sleep-mussed hair. The moment was perfect, a snapshot of memory he'd always carry. Faith, her face unearthly in the dull golden light, a blur of thick color and movement.

Dancing like a little brown dryad siren to the unearthly song. It was almost heartbreakingly beautiful. Lindsey didn't know why, but it felt like they were being given a second chance. Whatever the reason for that feeling, he was glad. To have missed this moment would be a death of a sort, the death of hope.

Stepping into the dance with her, Lindsey swayed to the music, holding Faith close in a slow, sexy waltz. Dawn turned the volume down a little, so the words almost whispered through the air. A song so full of love and fragility it almost broke the heart to listen to.

This was just a calm before a storm. Their lives would never be easy, or normal. But for this second it didn't matter. It was irrelevant. Because they were here, in the moonlight and the light from inside the car. Dancing close and slow, praying that this feeling, this cobweb-thin emotion of tenderness and love, would be enough.

The song ended, a faster, happier turn taking its place. Faith moved a little way out of the embrace, looking up at Lindsey with the same expression of utter contentment as he knew he himself wore. With a small smile, Faith turned to Dawn and beckoned for her to join them. The three of them danced crazily in the light, laughter bubbling up and spilling out. None of them had ever really known what a happy family was, but it was probably something like this.

~~~

"It's always funny, what people will do for love." Angelus was pretending to read a book of sonnets but really just watching Xander and Willow blowing bubbles through straws into glasses of blood. It was endearing, in a totally obscene way.

"What made you think of that?" Oz was playing with a seeing-eye dog that had become without an owner rather abruptly. He liked dogs, of course, and they liked him more then they usually did vampires.

"I was just thinking about that slut slayer."

"You're going to have to be more specific with that one."

"Faith. She strikes me as one of those people who'd get their lover's name written across their bodies and hug things so tightly she killed them. She's obsessed with being loved."

"Well she did turn evil to get attention, so I'm agreeing with your appraisal." Oz nodded. The little dog growled and bit at his hand. He slapped it, hard, sending it yelping into the corner, where it cowered, fearful. Oz smiled. He liked dogs.

"My point is, people will always do funny things for love. After we're finished in Sunnydale, let's find out what we can make her do."

~~~

A vampire's hunger isn't like the human feeling of needing to eat. It is something different, darker. Ask a vegetarian how they feel about eating meat, then imagine feeling that way and at the same time wanting it, needing it, so badly that it is the only thought in your mind. The sound of heartbeats around you measure your entire world, the thick sound of blood inside veins enough to fill the world. Your senses drown in it, and everything you are, your mind, your memories, your dreams, get swept away in the wash. All there is in the world is the hunger and the blood.

Lindsey wrapped his fingers around the neck of the glass bottle and took another drink from it. The liquid tasted flat, like stagnant water, or soda when the bubbles are gone. Revolting.

It was dusk, he'd lost track of the days again. Sometimes he did that. They slept erratically. Faith had pointed out at one stage that they really should settle somewhere, Dawn was too young to drop out of school. But the edges of his nightmare forced them onwards, into the night. He hadn't dreamt again.

What is a soul, exactly? Morals seemed a closer word. Lawyers are soulless because they don't have the same moral code as most people. Loopholes and technicalities replace ethics. Vampires lose their souls in the eyes of the world because when they wake up from being dead, they've lost their moral code. Their world is a different place, and they adapt. They can't hold onto the same codes.

Lindsey's world had been in such upheaval anyway when he was turned, his morals so out of whack that perhaps the normal vampire ethics hadn't taken hold. Maybe it was, as Wesley had suggested, something to do with Angel having sired him. Maybe he was evil underneath and just hadn't noticed.

God, this stuff tasted hideous. Screwing his face up, Lindsey forced himself to swallow. The hunger died away but didn't vanish, like a tiger that's been caged but still prowls and paces, growling. He'd learnt to ignore it.

Faith and Dawn were asleep on the queen-sized bed, they'd only gotten the one room to save money. He'd spent so long with everything provided he'd forgotten the odd satisfaction that came from managing money well. They both looked contented, two sets of quiet breathing in the evening air.

The air itself was thick, humid rather then hot. Wiping his lips clean and waiting for the girls to wake up, Lindsey could feel the weather like another companion in the air. A storm was coming.

He thought that they might actually be prepared for one this time.