Chapter 4

"We're here." Lindsey pulled his car into a small space about a block from the gang's given location.

"Great," I said unenthusiastically, my eyes dwelling a moment on his well curved and all too kissable lips. I touched the hilt of the dagger in my waistband and my eyes found his again. "Bye." I smiled and delivered a quick peck to his mouth, opening the car door.

"I'll be back in fifteen minutes with a limo," He smiled, "I'll meet you there."

I gave him a coy look and remarked, "The Porsche wasn't enough of an upgrade for your clients."

"Maybe," He commented vaguely. I chuckled softly and was about to leave, but he pulled me back a moment to deliver a long, deep kiss that left me slightly dazed, which, of course, he knew. "Have fun."

I was too breathless to respond coherently, so I only simpered a little and exited the car. I waved as Lindsey drove off in a blaze of burning rubber and scattered asphalt pieces, leaving me to pursue my soon to be dead targets.

I ran noiselessly past the block and to the side of the alley I knew they would be occupying. I made note of two things as I overheard the voices inside the alley. One being that they were an English speaking gang (which helped me a hell of a lot, as translating street Spanish was not a favorite activity of mine.) Also, I noticed they were admiring their knives, which meant they didn't have guns, which meant it would be easier to take them down than I had originally thought. Goody for me then.

Judging by these guys' 'conversation' (which is to say topics such as 'and this bitch was like…') I got the impression that a little innocent sex kitten play was the best approach. I readjusted my top, making my cleavage slightly more prominent, and sauntered into the alley.

"Do you boys know where I can find a hotel," I leaned against the wall and batted my eyelashes. "I'm just so lost in this big city without any place to stay…" I ran my palm against my body suggestively, approaching what I could only assume was the leader of the gang, "Nobody I know…" I put on a mask of alluring distress. "And just *nothing* to do…"

The leader smirked a little, seemingly intrigued, "Well, I think we can help you little lady." He motioned to his minions at his sides, only three, making four in total.

"I knew you would," I said in a low and inviting manner, running my fingers along the top hemline of my shirt, making his eyes drop to my almost exposed breasts. It is a pity; under other circumstances this guy would be attractive.

"Well," He said, licking his lips, "How can we be of service?"

I arched my eyebrow, knowing they had fallen into my trap accordingly. "I'll let you know," I smiled, removing the dagger from my pants and throwing a bone crunching kick to his head. One down. The rest of the gang scattered like flock of sheep that had mislaid their Shepard, at a loss of what to do.

One pulled out a reasonable sized switch knife and tried to attack me. I couldn't help but chuckle at his sloppy and capricious moves. I quickly blocked him and kneed him in the groin, dispatching him quickly with a deep incise to the gut.

The other two cowered in a corner, staring at me with wide eyes. "Please," One begged softly, "Don't…"

There was a tug at my emotions as I realized how helpless they really were. I shook it off as best I could and laughed, "I thought you were tough. Come on," I beckoned to them, "You're giving me nothing to work with."

There seemed to be a moment of thought for both and they nodded to each other, charging at me less than a second later. I easily blocked their punches, backhanding one and breaking the wrist of the other. The first fell back, giving me a moment to slit the throat of the other. He fell with a sickening smack against the pavement.

I gulped back the repulsion that struck me as I saw the blood pool on already crimson stained concrete. I turned away and focused my attention to the last gang member who was begging for his life.

I inhaled deeply, kneeling down next to him, "Shh…" I said, calming him a bit. He was only seventeen and his brown eyes still remained strangely innocent. I bit back a soft moan of grief for him and whispered gently to him, "It's okay," I sniffed a little, "Just close your eyes." He did so in such a trusting manner I couldn't help but touch the side of his face soothingly. I gathered all my resolve and thrust my dagger into his abdomen, making his eyes open suddenly. His gaze fell to me, strangely unbelieving, and he gurgled out something I couldn't quite understand.

He started to softly sob from the pain for a moment and then sucked in his last labored breath, leaving me to fall back against the wall next to his dead body and cry gently. I whimpered a bit as I pulled the knife from the boy's belly and shut his eyelids so that I didn't have to bare the pure look in them any longer. The boy probably got mixed up in this because, in places like this, you're either in a gang or you're a target. Yeah, I know what that's like.

I looked a moment at the bloodied blade in my hand and wiped it off against the boy's sleeve, whispering a pathetic apology into his lifeless ear. I could hardly bare to hold the vile weapon in my hand without the uncontrollable need to vomit. So many memories…I realized I was breaking down, just like I did in Angel's arms.

"I can't do that again! I can't!" I screamed into the empty alley and started to sob uncontrollably, "I can't…not again…" I closed my arms around myself and shivered as though I were cold. My breathing was ragged and I was so caught up in the guilt that was enclosing around my mind that I didn't notice the limo pull up and a worried Lindsey run from the car and gather me in his arms.

I quickly, though, regained my senses and stopped crying, seating myself in the limo's backseat. Lindsey was quickly at my side, holding me closely in a protective manner, as if I were glass, and maybe I was…

"Faith," He said, patting my hair and stroking my cheek, "Are you hurt? Did something happen?" I smiled at his display of genuine concern and shook my head.

"Just a little upset," I said softly, "A little guilty…"

He smiled into my hair as he kissed my head, "I understand."

I nodded, "I know you do." Nuzzling in against his chest, I closed my eyes for a moment.

"Mason and Yule canceled." Lindsey informed me softly, "I can take you home if that's what you want."

I shook my head a little, "Can we just drive around for little while?"

I could hear the empathetic smile in his voice, "Sure." He stroked my cheek delicately, "Whatever you want." He put a finger under my chin a tilted my head up a bit, "Please tell me what's wrong."

I took in a weak breath and put on a pained smile, "I guess I just don't have the stomach for this job." I hated myself for being this feeble, and I hated myself for trusting Lindsey this much, but I felt like he was the only thing I could hold onto right now. I was doing it again, spinning out of control, as if Angel's ideals had hindered my control. I was breaking, it felt like I was being torn, and Lindsey was the only one holding me together. I hate feeling this.

"I'll get someone else to take the Mason case," He said, trying to comfort me, "We can take a few weeks off…"

I looked up at him, a little confused, "We?"

He smiled slightly, "Only if you want me with you." This was going extremely fast, even for me. Of course, my relationships rarely factored in the 'sticking around' aspect.

"I do," I answered honestly.

His smile broadened and he lifted me onto his lap, taking my face in his hands. He looked up at me thoughtfully and whispered, "God you're beautiful." The genuineness of his voice and motions amazed me a bit. I inhaled deeply as he pressed his lips against my own. My hands held his head in place as his found my waist, pulling me closer onto him.

Every place he touched seemed to tingle under his skilled fingertips. My face, my lips, my waist, all were ablaze with sensations caused by his caress. "Lindsey," I sighed, breaking away from his mouth and tender touches.

"Am I going too fast," He asked breathlessly, sitting up a little more attempting to give me space. Ever the gentleman, Lindsey's first thoughts were that I was uncomfortable with our little 'situation'. What he didn't realize, though, was that I wanted this just as much as he did, if not more. This game we'd been playing for the past few weeks had built up intense attraction between us and fast was exactly how I wanted it. But I guess he wasn't used to it.

"You're going just fine," I reassured him, caressing his cheek softly. "It's just…" I motioned to the clear glass separating the driver's seat from full view of us.

"Oh," He said, chuckling at himself a bit, "The partition." He smiled and flicked the switch on the limo's control panel, which was situated on the ceiling. I took this opportunity to remove myself from his lap and straighten out my clothing a bit (it had gotten a little disheveled from the fight and impromptu osculation session with Lindsey.)

I looked out the window a moment, seeing tall redwoods towering over us. I turned to Lindsey, confused, "Where are we?"

He smiled like the proud lawyer that he was, "A little appreciated part of California, just outside of LA." He pointed toward the row of giant (and quite beautiful) mansions scattered between the trees. "Mulholland."

"Gorgeous." I said looking back at him.

"Yes, you are." His smile broadened as he saw me turn speechless. I hate when he becomes so urbane and complimentary.

An idea caught my fancy and I looked up at Lindsey playfully, "Ever done it in the back of a limo?"

He smiled a bit and moved his mouth to my ear, whispering, "Yes."

"And I always thought you were sexually repressed," I said humorously, stroking his cheek with my fingertips.

"No, just a gentleman," He said, taking down my hand and pressing a kiss to my palm. "Besides," He smiled, "It really wasn't worth it. Leather chaffs."

"I'd imagine it…" I was suddenly cut off by the sound of Lindsey's cell phone.

He looked down at the caller ID with contempt. "It's Lilah. She's probably wondering about the meeting I didn't show up for."

"So let it ring." I said grabbing the phone from his hands and dropping it on the other leather seat, "No reason to ruin a perfectly good evening." He reluctantly let the call go and settled back onto his seat. "What is it with you and Lilah anyway. You're like the water and oil of lawyer-ism."

"Actually, if you add soap those things will mix." He answered, completely evading the question, which made me somewhat suspicious.

"Well, I'll be sure to avoid any soap based products around you guys then," I eyed him hesitantly, "What? Did you guys date or something?"

"Yes." He said uncomfortably, shifting a bit in his seat. The answer was so ludicrous that I couldn't help myself; I burst out laughing.

"You…" I snickered, "And Lilah…a couple? Poor you."

"Trust me," He said painfully (or reminiscently, it's often hard to tell with him), "That relationship would have convinced many that demons did indeed walk the earth…in tailored Italian dress suits…"

"How long ago," I tried to sound empathetic, but laughter was still bubbling under my voice.

"Two years." He said contemptuously, "Heinous shrew that she was…" He paused for a moment and then turned to me, his features softening somewhat. "How about you?"

"Doomed relationships?" I asked, suddenly turning somber; he nodded. My thoughts flew to a number of nameless faces of men I'd 'gotten to know'. Then my mind turned…to Angel. That face and voice assaulted my memory with such vivid detail that I could almost feel his cool, protective arms embracing me in the rain, when I broke for him… again. "None worth mentioning." I tried to smile, but then I remembered that cold, vindictive look in Angel's eyes when he said he was ready for my game. I could only shudder to think of how he would look at me now.

"None?" Lindsey questioned, obviously picking up on my moment of introspection, "I have a hard time believing that."

"Well, relationships weren't generally part of the equation," I said, once again reminding myself of the anonymous 'someones' that had glided in and out of my body and memory. "But I've had enough unrequited love affairs to paper a wall."

"I didn't mean to…" He started.

"I want to go home," I sighed, suddenly exhausted.

He touched my arm and said softly, "I'm sorry if I did any…"

"It's not you," I stopped him suddenly, "Trust me, it's not you…" No, of course not…it's me, it's always me. "I'm just tired from…everything."

"Okay."

Chapter Five