'We wants it! My precious!' Delphinium lunged for the 'Ring' and Sammie weaved to the side with a shout. Del scuttled after him, snarling.
Lounging half-hidden against an oak tree Sam shook his head in sheer disgust and whispered, 'Did she learn that from you?'
'Never.' Frodo murmured in the shadows to Sam's left. 'It was all I could do just to write Gollum's speech.'
'Brr! Sounds just like him.'
'Yes. It's as if she truly wants that curtain ring.' Del pounced at Sammie again.
'She wants somethin' sure enough.' Sam observed and Frodo snickered in his sleeve.
'That's my boy!' Frodo buffed his nails against his waistcoat and it was Sam's turn to choke back his laughter.
'Give it to us! Nassty wicked Hobbitses!' Del's fingers clutched at Sammie. He swung a good sized stick just above her head. Molly, Aster and Meli weren't involved in this part of the drama and they cheered and hissed and booed on the sidelines. Daisy had her tree-branch and was ready to spring in as soon as she had her cue.
'Down!' Sammie shouted, poking Del in the shoulder. 'Down! Down, you creeping thing, and out of my path! Your time is at an end. You cannot betray me or slay me now!'
'That's not what you said.' Sam observed, cutting his eyes humorously at Frodo.
'I decided that 'Sod off!' wouldn't make very compelling reading, Sam.'
Daisy leaped between Sammie and Del brandishing her 'sword.' She was applauded by the other girls and Del hissed at all of them. Sammie looked relieved. Daisy attacked Del with perfect fierceness and shouted, 'Quick, Master! Go on! No time to lose, I'll deal with him! Go on!'
'And that was a far cry from 'Get your ass up that hill!'' Frodo observed as Sammie scrambled away.
Sam grinned. 'Did you have to rewrite everything? What we actually said wasn't very poetical like but it was honest! And had heart.'
'Ah, yes.' Frodo nodded. 'The way you told Lord Faramir he could 'shove his suspicions straight up his ass until they came out his feckin' eyeballs' showed real heart.' Sam covered his grin with his hand. Frodo bumped him with his shoulder. 'Will you never forgive each other?'
'No. Never. Or, at least, not as long it amuses the life out of the Lady Eowyn to hear us sniping!'
'It makes Merry jealous the way she keeps after you!goading you on!' Sam went red.
A great 'ARGH!' of pain rent the air and Sammie was kneeling and clutching his hand as Daisy patted his back comfortingly. Del had the curtain ring in her fist and was dancing madly on the bank of The Water. 'My Precious! O my Precious!!' She stepped too far!she was on the brink, Meli and Molly screamed, Aster covered her eyes, Del was off-balance!her arms pinwheeled madly!Daisy and Sammie stared in horror!then she fell. 'PRREECIOUSSSS!!' she wailed as she landed with a wet SPLUT! into the mud. She hooked her fingers and toes into the air to indicate that she was dead and Sam and Frodo released the breaths they hadn't realized they were holding. Frodo had goosebumps on his arms and he rubbed them, sighing.
Gollum was dead and he took the Ring with him. The world was safe. Aster, Sammie, Molly, Daisy and Meli stood on the bank and looked sadly down on Del's pitiful remains. Then Daisy picked up a gob of mud and flung it into Del's curly hair as hard as she could.
The dead arose. 'DAIZE!!' Del threw double fistfuls of gunk at Daisy's retreating back and the mud-fight was on. Even Aster joined in, delicately flinging muck in all directions until Sammie threw her down and rolled her in it.
Sam sighed. 'We need to stop them.' Molly actually picked Daisy up and pitched her a good five feet into Meli and Del as if she were playing nine-pins. A fountain of mud sprayed the air.
'Sod off.' Frodo said with finality and the two greatest heroes of the age backed away very slowly and quietly.
~