Sam like oliphaunts well enough in poems and at a distance, but would be like one in the tater patch?
"Sam-dad, there's an oliphaunt in the tater patch."
"That's nice, Ru- a what?"
"An oliphaunt. In the tater patch."
"*sigh* Ruby, there is no oliphaunt in the tater patch. And besides, oliphaunts live leagues and leagues away, down south, past Gondor, even. What would one be doing at Bag End, eh?"
"I don't know the hows or the whys, daddy, I just know that there is..."
"Go back to those papers, Sam, I'll see to the oversized paciderm."
"Thank you, Frodo."
*from outside* "See, Ruby? There is no oliphaunt in the garden, and definitely not in the tater paaa-OH ELBERETH!!!"
CRUNCH.
"...Uncle Frodo?"
~