She knew
that some folk said she was a witch.
It was no great
surprise, really. Any excuse to talk about any of her family
was gobbled up by gossips, and what else could she be with
hair red like a peppered pumpkin? Everyone knew witches had
hair like that. Except when they had black hair. But
oftentimes, at least, red was a signifier. Witch, witch,
little Ruby Gardner is a witch.
It annoyed her when
these things were said, because she wasn't little and
there was a large difference between being 'the youngest of
the girls' and being 'perpetually thought of as eleven'. She
was twenty-nine, her Uncle Pippin had been no older when he
set off on the Quest. Ruby liked words that were capitalised.
Anyway, she preferred to think of her hair as red like
copper, rather than peppered pumpkin.
If the gossips
had seen her out walking in the forest one extremely cold
winter morning, chasing the mists her breath made from
clearing to clearing, they would have chalked it up to queer
witch behaviour, or the more use-worn queer-gardner-behaviour
answer that still got pulled out as often as possible. Really,
Ruby was just running away, which was a regular event. She
didn't go that far, really. Only far enough that it
seemed she could keep going and have adventures if the
fancy took her.
One day, she told herself, she would
keep running.
Her parents knew where she went, of
course. Her dad would tap and the ice-reddened toes on her
feet and say "Looks like our Ruby's been out witchin' again,"
and make her sit down by the fire in the study, which was
always extra-warm. Uncle Frodo would read her bits and pieces
from stories, and Ruby would feel an itch begin down past her
ankles; she wanted to gallop through the tales and knock over
crockery, tweak the noses of kings with no clothes and help
Hansel and Gretel catch a proper dinner so they didn't eat so
much gingerbread.
The stories that made her most
irritated were the ones about those people unlucky enough to
fall in love with Elves, and the Elves silly enough to return
the favour. It really did seem far too much trouble, there was
so much wailing and gnashing of teeth and shining clean ladies
who decided to spend time with men who could do with a bath.
There was a story that some of her cousins and siblings had
made up, years and years ago, about an Elf and a hobbit, and
her Uncle had once confessed to Ruby that parts of this tale
were actually a true thing that the story-making children had
plucked from their memories without realising and given a
happy ending.
And it, unlike the ones about Beren and
Luthien (who were very brave but a bit too fond of poetry) and
Aragorn and Arwen (who were perfectly sensible nice people on
their own whom Ruby liked very much but got so dreadfully
goopy when they were together), was not a story of
something that ended happily ever after. Which Ruby thought
was possibly a truer kind of ending, if stories from the real
world can hold different degrees of the truth. After all,
Elves understood much better than ordinary people what 'ever
after' was.
So even if it wasn't a nice ending,
to say that the hobbit maiden had never felt deserving of such
a beautiful lover, and that the Elf princess had grown
restless with such a simple friend, and that their love had
slowly faded back into the air like breath on a winter
morning... well, it was better to be true than to be nice,
wasn't it?
"Ah, Ruby," Uncle Frodo had said when she
voiced these objections. Uncle Frodo was old, older even than
Mum and Dad, but his eyes were still twinkly. "You're not
thinking about the story. Histories are a different
matter, the writing-down of what really happened takes a
different part of your head. In stories, things aren't just
what happened, they're things disguised as other things.
Symbols and the like."
Ruby nodded. She'd heard this
sort of argument before.
"Yes, but Uncle, why have the
lovers live happily ever after? Nobody really believes
that happens to anybody."
Uncle Frodo smiled one
of his goopy smiles that meant he'd stopped paying attention
to the conversation and was thinking about Mum and Dad. Ruby
cleared her throat loudly.
"You're right, Ruby. There's
no such thing as just 'happily ever after'. But love is so
big, so powerful and strong, that it feels like it could never
ever be broken by anything. Sometimes that feeling lasts for
someone's whole life, even when they're arguing about messes
or money or things like that. And sometimes it doesn't last
very long at all, but the hugeness of the feeling made it as
big as forever, even if it was only for a little while. You
can't write something like that in a story-book - they
lived happily and were very very in love and then their
stories went apart as easily as they had come together -
that sounds too much like a sad ending. Most people don't want
to think that stories stop where they do because that's the
moment where the happiness feels like it will be
forever."
Ruby contemplated this. "No offense meant
here, but you and Dad and Mum are still stuck together. I
mean, I don't know if I'd call you happily-ever-after, you all
make too many jokes about each other and do too much scolding,
but in your book it's the other sort of ending.
Why?"
"That was a story about something else. It's
mostly a history, some of the rougher edges rubbed smooth but
not really very different from what actually happened. And
when I wrote that ending, it seemed like that was what
was going to happen, and it felt right that the whole thing
should finish like that. It wasn't a neat story, after all,
like a fairy-tale. It was messy and difficult and sometimes it
was difficult to tell who was bad and who was good, because
nobody's really one or the other outside books. And some parts
were long, and some parts were sad, and some parts were silly
and strange, but I left all those things in because I wanted
people to understand that real things aren't like stories. And
that ending... even though, as you say, it turned out not-true
after all... it was right for the story. Because it said that,
sometimes, happily-ever-afters are just too complicated no
matter how much you want them. I wanted people to think about
that for a change."
This made sense, somewhat, to Ruby,
so she didn't argue. Uncle Frodo blew his nose and blinked a
bit, and pretended that the fire was smoking up the room
again.
"Stories teach us, that's their purpose.
They're lessons for the heart, like facts are lessons for the
head. People have been telling lies in stories in order to
make the truth clearer for thousands of years. Do you honestly
think that Maglor the Elf still wanders the seashores, regret
and sorrow weighing him down? He was a storyteller himself,
and understood that this was the ending people needed to hear
about - otherwise the story wouldn't last the ages, and it was
a tale worth remembering. People have a notion that unhappy
endings are somehow weightier and more important than the
other kind. No, he went home eventually, for even the ageless
cannot bear a grudge forever. But you certainly didn't hear
that from me, and I certainly didn't hear that from a Queen in
Gondor who still keeps an eye on the race she grew up
with."
"Didn't hear what, Uncle?" Ruby deadpanned, then
sighed. "Stories are so tricksy. I'd much rather have a
real adventure, where a thing happens or it doesn't. Symbols
and mettyfors make my head hurt."
"Sore head, sore
feet! Sounds to me like you're beyond repair, Ruby-blue. We'll
have to give up on you, I'm afraid. Nothing we can
do."
"Oh ho, if that's the case then I'll just sit here
by your fire and ask irritating questions all day long, and
you'll rue the day you washed your hands of my fate. Not that
you actually do much hand-washing, your nails are horrid.
There's moss under them, I'm sure."
"There is
not!" Uncle Frodo laughed, pretending outrage. "Moss, indeed.
There's a romantic notion for a story, Bronwe athan
Harthad and his mossy fingernails."
"Perhaps I'll write
just that, someday. When I'm through with real adventures,
I'll write about them," Ruby said. "Stories about witches, and
loves that aren't forever but are worth remembering
anyway."
Uncle Frodo smiled, and promised to put aside
a pot of ink for her eventual use.
~
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